An Update + Things I am Pissed About

Wow. Has it really been more than two months since I last posted? I have been so busy doing so many awesome things and expressing so much self-righteous indignation over ridiculously trivial issues, that I hardly noticed that I haven't been posting. I have, however, been making an ass of myself on my Facebook page without pause, so hopefully everyone was still able to get their Coura fix.

So what's been happening with me? Well, of course, I finally had my homebirth. My homebirth. Mine! And I want to thank you, the readers, for all of your awesome good vibes that day, making me want to have the most rockin' homebirth ever. Seriously, I couldn't wouldn't have done it if it weren't for your  support attention. But I did! And now, thanks to all of my eyewitnesses readers, my reputation as a crunchy earth mother goddess is now cemented. To those of you who doubted my NCB/Crunchy Mama cred, no doubt because of my hospital births, my decision to circumcise, my late conversion to cloth diapers, my use of formula, etc., you can't say anything now. I am an official, card-carrying member of your community. I pushed a baby out of my vagina, in my home, and I have the photo evidence to prove it! Yay for me! I did it.

And it. was. fabulous. As awesome as I performed that day, I gotta give a shout-out to my new baby girl Jodene. Jodene, you were so cooperative! Had you messed things up for me the way your oldest brother did, I was going to have to have a fourth baby! And I probably would have had to do it while in law-school, and that would have been hard to do while keeping my GPA up! See, once I am in law school, it will be super important that I don't screw up my GPA again, just in case my plans to fully transition my blog from informative website to just a big, fat, lucrative  commercial (almost there! crossing my fingers!) don't pan out, and I can't make enough money hawking earthy mom products on my blog to support me and my family. But Jodene cooperated, and fulfilled all of my fantasies for me. Me. Yay Jodene! Mama loves you extra much now! Let's go get your ears pierced, Princess!

But now let's move on to more serious topics. Several things have really pissed me off recently, and while I mentioned them already on my Facebook page, I have not yet had the chance to blog about them.

FIRST, I have been getting so many hateful comments on my Facebook page lately! I just don't get why people would join my page only to say horrible things to me!

Take this comment, for instance: "Lovely to hear you had such a great dinner. Perhaps rethink the Nestle lipstick, but loving your healthy placenta ecapsulation glow!"


OH. EM. EFF. GEE. Can you even? What hatefulness! That person obviously has so much unhappiness in her life. Why else would she waste this energy hating on someone she doesn't even know? Sure, a more reasonable person than I would realize that this reader was probably just trying to be helpful. She probably knows that I claim to be a Nestle boycotter, and probably just wanted to make sure that I knew who owns the lipstick brand I was wearing, so that I could make an informed decision about whether or not I wanted to continue wearing it. A more reasonable person than I might also point out that the tone of that reader's comment was supportive and friendly, and not hateful at all.

But SO WHAT?! Look, maybe I need to revise my Facebook disclaimer to make the following clear: I do not like being shown to be uninformed about anything. It is contrary to my self-image, and I will not tolerate it for one second! And if you'll recall, I attended a bloggers conference for which Nestle was a sponsor as well. I came up with lots of justifications for that decision, and if need be, I will do the same with my Loreal lipstick (I mean, did you even see how glowy it made me look? And how how well it coordinated with the baby? OMG I know!). In the meantime, people who love me know that I adhere to my principles only when they do not interfere with my doing something pretty or cool. Anyone not realizing this, and not indulging me, is a hater!!

SECOND thing to piss me off recently: Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph hating on natural child birth on SNL. I have a great sense of humor and all (I have to say that, since there is so little evidence of it anywhere) and I laugh at a lot of things, but "I have very little sense of humor about limiting women's birth choices." Now, don't you dare ask me how the fuck an SNL skit has the power to limit women's birth choices because you and I both know that what I am saying right now is one of the stupidest things I have ever said in my entire tenure as a blogger. So again, don't ask me to explain how what I just said makes any sense at all because it does not. And don't tell me that it is not the job of SNL to educate women on their child birth options, nor to embrace the choices that I happen to prefer. Stop making sense!

Surprisingly, most of my Facebook fans recognized that skit for the silly, not-to-be-taken-seriously parody that it was. Some people commenting on my page even said that the skit was a hilariously accurate spoof of actual NCB videos they've seen, which is what made it funny to them despite the fact that they are NCB advocates themselves. Readers, that is unacceptable. I expect better from my fans. Like me, they should have the sense of humor of a door knob, and the warmth of an ice cube.

THIRD thing to piss me off recently: Facebook has not yet removed a single one of my breastfeeding photos. I've been posting them like mad in hopes that at least one would get removed, so that I would have yet another thing to complain about, and perhaps, if I am really lucky, put myself in the middle of the mainstream media coverage that would hopefully ensue after the fit I would throw, but Facebook is not cooperating with my big me-plans. Pissed!

Well, I guess that's all the important stuff for now...